Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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