If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
