Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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