then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
