Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
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