DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
