My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Just high enough for therapy.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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