My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
It's never too late to be topless.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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