idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
