i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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