I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
