I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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