WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize