I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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