Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize
