After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
