We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
