okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize