pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
So here I am, sexting at work.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
