she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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