Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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