I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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