I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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