Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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