Well apparently he's into motor boating.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
