It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
