break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
