Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
