He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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