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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You were trust falling into bushes
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