a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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