his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
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