I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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