i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
