I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize