i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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