I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Randomize