"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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