I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Randomize
