i always forget guys have bellybuttons
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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