WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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