she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
