Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
It's rum buckets o'clock
Randomize
