Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
