Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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