the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
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