She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
