this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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