the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...