Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
