first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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