I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Randomize