Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.