I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
