I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
