Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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