The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
There r osticjed everywhere
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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