I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
