just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
