:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize