This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
