she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
