Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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