I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
