May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
