Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
